Idols | Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall: When Approval Defines You, it Distorts You
About this series:
To follow Jesus as Lord means putting nothing before Him. This is not only right but logical: no one is greater, no one satisfies more. Yet the daily struggle of discipleship is the pressure—both within and around us—to live as though something else is more worthy.
Christians have long understood this in terms of idols. Tim Keller defines an idol as “anything more important to you than God…anything you seek to give you what only God can give.” Martin Luther said, “Whatever your heart clings to and relies upon, that is your God.” John Piper calls it “anything we rely on for blessing or guidance in place of wholehearted trust in the living God.”
Scripture is clear from the start:
“You shall have no other gods before me” (Ex. 20:3; Deut. 5:7).
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind” (Matt. 22:37).
The danger is profound. Idols dishonor God, deceive us with false promises, and deform us into their image: “Those who make them will be like them, and so will all who trust in them” (Ps. 115:8). Humanity is wired to ascribe worth to something beyond itself, but this longing finds fulfillment only in the Creator: “Trust in the Lord—he is their help and shield” (Ps. 115:11). Only He truly satisfies, only He is worthy, only He is “the way, the truth, and the life” (Jn. 14:6).
Identifying idols is not always simple. Good gifts from God can quietly become an idol that replaces him. However, questions like these can help us begin to probe our hearts and minds:
What consumes most of my time and thoughts?
What stirs my emotions most deeply?
What do I feel I cannot live without?
Where do I place my hope for meaning and worth?
About this talk:
The value of every single human being is undeniable in a Christian worldview. Each person is made in the image of God - with qualities that reflect the Creator, known by him from the beginning of our formation in the womb, with dignity and value. And we are designed to know God’s approval and love for us. Where the recognition of those truths becomes unhealthy is when they become self-serving, when the good gift of value becomes an idol that we worship - when God-given value becomes self-serving obsession. And especially, when we seek that approval and value from anywhere but God.
In the famous tale Snow White, the evil queen, obsessed with her own beauty, asks her magic mirror every day, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” One day the mirror identifies her stepdaughter, Snow White, as the fairest in the land, and thus begins the queen’s attempts to have Snow White killed. The story serves to highlight the lengths to which people will go to reinforce their sense of meaning, value or beauty. And, of course, this is just how things are with people in the real world: a desperate search of approval and significance, which has become an increasingly desperate search because of two things in particular:
The loss of received meaning. In older times people received their sense of meaning, at least to a significant extent, from the narratives around them: from family, nation or religion. Today’s message is to reject all such ‘imposed’ identities and to discover your own, which tends to leave people (especially young people) confused and rudderless.
Social media. The explosion of online images, trends, fads and influencers has led to two destructive trends: a) an unprecedented comparison trap where my life is constantly being assessed against what I see of others online and b) a need to receive approval from others through my own online profile.
The antidote to this toxic way of feeding our need to feel approved and accepted is to hear what God says of us. He who made us, with an appropriate need for acceptance, knows that it can only truly be found in him - in fact he designed us this way - to find our worth in the verdict of the only opinion that ultimately matters. In Ephesians 1, Paul lists at least 10 identity markers that God intends should define us:
v 3: blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ
vs 4, 11: chosen in Christ before the creation of the world
v 5: adopted to sonship through Jesus Christ
vs 6-8: lavished with grace
v 7: redeemed
v 7: forgiven
v 12: for the praise of his glory
v 13: included in Christ
v 13: marked with the Holy Spirit
v 14: with a guaranteed inheritance
To a world desperate for meaning, significance and acceptance, the Bible, from beginning to end, shouts loudly that God alone can give what we truly need. Only in him can we find rest from the exhausting pursuit of chasing for our own sense of meaning - “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).
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How to Visualise the Burden of Approval—and Find Rest
Madonna once said it perfectly:
“I have an iron will… I push past one spell of inadequacy and discover myself as a special human being, and then I get to another stage and think I’m mediocre and uninteresting… Again and again. My drive in life is from this horrible fear of being mediocre. Because even though I’ve become Somebody, I still have to prove that I’m Somebody. My struggle has never ended, and it probably never will.”
Even for one of the most successful artists of our time, approval is addictive, fleeting, and exhausting.
Finding Rest in God
The Psalmist David knew this struggle well. In Psalm 62, he writes from a place of difficulty and rejection, reminding his soul—and us—where true peace is found:
“Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him. Truly, he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken… Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”
David’s life wasn’t easy. He faced trials, enemies, and personal failures. Yet he found stability—not in applause or achievement—but in God’s approval. And this is the freedom offered to us today: the freedom to stop performing, stop measuring ourselves against everyone else, and finally rest.
Visualising the Burden of Approval
Think about the ways we seek approval: imagine carrying these weights every day:
A coat: the pressure to fit in, to conform.
A bag: achievements and success as a measure of worth.
A mask: defining ourselves by physical beauty.
A dumbbell: fitness and body image.
A heart: romantic approval, needing someone else to feel complete.
Family expectations: living under unspoken “don’t disappoint us” pressures.
Religious performance: trying to earn God’s love through actions.
Chains: perfectionism, control, and the relentless drive to perform.
These weights can become invisible idols. They aren’t inherently wrong, but when they define us, they weigh us down.
Jesus offers a different path:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you… and you will find rest for your souls.” — Matthew 11:28-30
When we surrender our need for approval, we discover something better than applause: peace. Something stronger than success: security. Something deeper than control: rest.
Your Invitation Today
Take a moment. Reflect on where you’ve been seeking approval. Name it, lay it down, and ask God to help you move forward. Pray:
“God, I’m tired of pretending. I’m tired of performing. Teach my soul to rest in You.”
Because in Him, we find freedom. We find rest. We find acceptance. Human praise comes and goes—but God’s approval is unshakable.
Stop chasing what fades. Start trusting what lasts. Your soul can rest… in God alone.
